5 Ways Women in the Workplace Can Set Healthy Boundaries to Combat Burnout
One woman usually carries multiple roles. We are managers, leaders, and mentors at work, and then perhaps mothers, wives, and partners at home. If single, we are friends, sisters, and perhaps the go-to person for various community or family projects. Regardless of the details, we have been raised and socialized to assume that we can have full, demanding careers during the day, and then make sure that nutritious dinners are served, that our homes are spotless, and that our families are safe and sleeping soundly.
Research indicates that women have taken on these expectations. For example, while 57% of American women have paying jobs and 75% of working women are employed full time, we are—still, in 2022—eight times more likely than men to be primarily responsible for household duties and childcare. (Yes, you read that correctly: eight times more likely.) It’s no wonder that burnout is on the rise, with 42% of working women reporting feeling burned out in 2021, compared with 32% of women in 2020, or that women left the workforce at record rates during the pandemic, with one of every three women considering downshifting their careers or leaving the workforce in 2021.
How did we get here?
To begin with, most adult women today were raised by adults who were not aware of or did not deliberately model healthy boundaries. The term “boundaries” was not widely used until the 1980s, primarily by therapists and in self-help groups. And because that concept was not introduced at an early age, for many women, even the word “boundaries” has a negative connotation and can bring up difficult emotions. One of the most familiar is guilt. The bottom line is that having been taught to be helpers, givers, and caretakers, saying “no” and setting healthy boundaries does not come easily.
I believe that women can have it all (successful careers and families)—or as much of ‘it’ as we desire—but we absolutely can’t do it all on our own. And healthy boundaries are paramount in order to combat burnout and have both a long and fulfilling career and a prosperous life.
Consider these five ways to set healthy boundaries, so that you can combat burnout:
1.) Allow yourself to completely disconnect.
Just before you leave your workspace, turn on the “out of office” message on your email service. Then, as you walk out of the door, set your phone and email notifications to “do not disturb.” These actions ensure that you are unavailable for immediate communication when you leave the building. Do the same if you work from home.
2.) Have a wind-down ritual between work and home.
Your commute can also become sacred alone time. On your drive home, do something relaxing to decompress, such as listening to your favorite podcast, audiobook, or playlist. If you have time, perhaps you can stop by a local park or nature trail. And if you work from home, get outside for an end-of-the-workday walk to clear your mind. If you bike or walk to work, find a scenic route. Do whatever you enjoy.
3.) Share the load.
With a partner, a roommate, or a spouse, share the load at home. There is no ‘supposed to’ or ‘should’ when it comes to your responsibilities. As a woman already tired at the end of a working day, dividing the dinnertime and evening responsibilities equitably will be helpful. Share cooking and cleanup or decide who will get takeout, for example. If you are a single parent, enlist help from grandparents, neighbors, or friends. Don’t be shy about asking for help. Remember: If you aren’t okay, you can’t take care of anyone else.
4.) Outsource tasks that drain your energy.
Whenever you can, hire help (a cleaning service, a neighborhood teen looking to make a few dollars raking the lawn, or even a full-time nanny). Use a grocery or meal delivery service. Hire a virtual personal assistant. Get a babysitter every week, so you (or you and your partner) can go out or have your own time. Also consider your own capacity to do these tasks and prioritize accordingly. For example, is it easier to shovel a large driveway all winter or to contract with a snow removal service, which can do the same task in a fraction of the time? By taking these steps, you not only reduce unnecessary stressors but also provide valuable employment opportunities for others. If, like many working women, your student loans, mortgage, car payments, and credit card bills make you averse to seeking help, consider the alternative: doing everything yourself and burning out in the process.
5.) When you prioritize your own personal well-being and self-care, you model important boundaries.
If you have children, they are watching you. Even if they do not do what we say, children will do what we do. With your partner, model the relationship you want your children to have with their partners someday. Show them that both parents are responsible for taking care of the family. If you are a single parent, model what it looks like to ask for and receive help from others, and that all the responsibility does not fall on Mom. And don’t forget to assign household chores to the children, too. This will lighten your load, develop their sense of competence, and provide valuable lessons in responsibility.
It’s normal for new behaviors to be uncomfortable. Discomfort is just a sign that you are growing! When you set healthy boundaries to combat burnout, you are modeling freedom, self-care, and leadership for our next generation of working women.
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