The Courage to Put Ourselves Out There

I’ve really been thinking a lot about the discomfort of putting ourselves out there: exposed, vulnerable and seen – and of choosing to do it anyways. This is so present on my mind and in my heart as I’ve spent the last couple of weeks reaching out to friends, colleagues, and contacts for endorsements with the near-finished manuscript of my Boundaries for Women Physicians book that comes out in February.

Even though I am all about being brave, courageous, and bold – and striving to be unhooked from praise, criticism, and acceptance – this act of putting myself out there is still incredibly scary, uncomfortable, and unsettling for me. I remind myself that this is normal and natural, to experience these thoughts and emotions. And I remind myself that bravery is a muscle – one that we continue to have to choose to exercise, day in and day out.

I recently had a chance to be interviewed for an article in my elementary, middle, and high school’s alumni magazine. I was truly lucky to get to attend the special, safe, and supportive small private school community that was my pre-K through senior in high school experience. When reflecting on my childhood experience there, deep emotion bubbled up and remained present for me during that interview conversation. What a precious treasure my childhood and teenage years were there. What incredible safety, love, and community I experienced there from my teachers and my peers. I can’t help but tear up when I think about my experience there, as a shy, quiet, timid girl – and how much my teachers made me feel special and seen – as I know they did for all students there.

I was asked, “So you’ve become quite public with your personal, vulnerable story of your struggles with burnout and suicide in the work you do supporting women physicians through your coaching, writing and Pink Coat, MD – this must be easy for you. You seem to do it with ease.” To which my gut reaction response was a full belly laugh followed by “Absolutely not! This is all completely terrifying!! And I do it anyways.”

And what is my Why behind why I still push through my fears to do it anyways? Because if I can help one person feel that they are not alone, then this is worth it. If one person reading or hearing my story can feel less alone, less scared, or less isolated, then this would all have been worth it. And if I can help give permission and courage to others to begin to open up, to ask for and receive help, and to share their own vulnerable stories of personal struggle – wow. Then this is how we begin to change a culture. This is how we begin to inspire others to deeply change their lives and the lives of others. This is how we make our lives, community, and world a better and kinder one for all of us and for future generations.

It's through our stories that we break down barriers and find our common humanity. I can’t remember where I first heard this, and I think I likely must give credit to Mr. Fred Rogers, one of my personal heroes, that we can always find love and understanding when we know someone else’s story.  

Putting ourselves out there is not only about living our most honest, brave, and authentic lives. Doing so enables the greatest of gift of all – of our humanity and shared experience as human beings, living and struggling and striving together through this precious and fleeing gift we call Life.

How will you live your boldest, bravest, and most vulnerable one life?

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