Breaking Through to Badass

I’ve really been thinking a lot about what holds us back and keeps us stuck and small in our old patterns. Especially as I’ve recently been listening to the You are a Badass books by Jen Sincero, (which I have been loving!!).

Everything she shares in her books I’ve heard before, know intuitively as a coach, and in fact is what I do to help my clients and others – to break through their old limiting habits and patterns, and create their own new reality of life. And yet there is a bluntness and boldness in her approach that I find refreshing and re-energizing.

I spent almost this entire past weekend coaching women physicians and trainees, and I found myself being a bit more blunt – ok a lot more blunt – and bold than usual…. And it was awesome!! I witnessed shifts in my clients that I hadn’t seen before. Some still kept bumping up against old habits, and yet when I pushed harder, I noticed a persistence and grit begin to emerge. I was also pushing myself to be a bolder, more badass coach in the service of my clients. And I think the feeling was mutual – we all grew as a result.

I strive to hold a safe and supportive learning container as a coach – and I know I can always push my own edges to be bolder and break through my own beliefs that hold me back. I still remember when my coaching classmates during my certification training came up with the metaphor of “Honeybadger” for me, as they felt this is what would take my coaching to the next level. Those of you who know me personally know that I am the furthest thing from a honeybadger…!! I’m much more of the kind of badger that wants to give you a big hug and tell you that I love you!

So, for me to be more “Honeybadger” – I must be completely outside of my norm and my comfort zone. I must be bold, courageous and a little badass – ok, a lot badass. When I set the intention to push myself, I know I can do it. I can bring in elements of this intrepid animal into my coaching and into my approach of my life.

When I do this, I’m forcing myself to push up against my own limiting beliefs and desire to be liked, to please others, and to be a giver and a helper – so deeply ingrained in me that this is what I work on consistently with my own coach (yes I have my own – all of us coaches do!). I know what holds me back in my life is this shy, timid, 13-year-old girl that still lives inside of me, wanting to be liked, and who comes out when I’m feeling insecure or exposed.

What are your own beliefs and patterns that hold you back?

My other limiting pattern is my deeply ingrained pattern as a hyper achiever. My hunch is that you can relate, as the high achieving, exceptionally gifted woman physician that I know you are. You have likely been an achiever and a learner since a young age.

Now, this is not always a bad thing. This is how I know you have gotten to where you are today! There’s no way you could have gotten through college, medical school, internship, residency, and fellowship without this incredible strength! The challenge now is how to dial this muscle down, now that we are attendings and no longer riding the seemingly unending bullet train-ride that is our years-long medical education and training.

I am very aware that both my greatest strength and Achilles’ heel is my relentless drive to achieve. This is the 2nd recurring theme of my life, and one which I work on constantly with my own coach!

I think there is something to be said about the very clear, blunt and “tough love” approach that Jen Sincero takes with her readers in her You are a Badass books. Not because this is cool, or hip, or “the thing” right now – but more because there really is a badass inside all of us. One that’s yearning to come out and kick some serious butt in our lives.

So, what is your scary, hairy, audacious goal, dear friend? Channel your inner badass and say it out loud. Push up against and through your limiting habits and beliefs about yourself and say it out loud. Maybe it will first come out as a whisper. Then keep saying it and get louder and louder until you say it with conviction.

Before you know it, you will be shouting your Big Audacious Goal like it’s no big deal.

I challenge you to put your Big Audacious Goal front and center in your life. Right now, today.

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